 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
I.
UNEVEN GROUND
ONE
Some questions.
Ever been so angry you couldn’t sleep?
Ever been lied about, but you couldn’t make it right?
Ever want revenge on the people who did it?
How’s this for a situation? You view others with childlike trust in the basic goodness of human nature, only to find yourself the victim of a vicious game where the guaranteed loser is you? That ring a bell? If it does, you understand that the consequences can be disastrous. I know. I’m living the consequences.
Ever been set up for the long hard fall and been so devastated by the outcome that your honest human reaction was to get even with a vengeance? And, here comes the worst part: An ugly awareness explodes into your mind. There is the clear and sudden understanding that if you don’t do something, others will go unpunished for what they did to you. Unpunished, hell. That’s not the word for it. They were, in all likelihood, hee-hawing and dancing in the street right after it happened.
This kind of thing can lead a person down either of two paths. You can whimper and moan in the night, doing nothing but let it eat at you. You can lie there, hoping your torment will go away. And sometimes the pain will ease up. But it never goes away. Not for good. Its there, lurking, waiting to come barging back when you least expect it. During a meal, or maybe during a car ride, something will trigger your hurt and it all comes crashing in, intense and powerful. Simple pleasures are ripped away in a fleeting moment like dying leaves in an ice storm, and the joy in living is nowhere to be found. You can live out your life that way—if you call that living.
Then, there’s a second path. Feelings can be turned into actions. Actions that cross the line between thinking and doing. Maybe start with the kneecaps and work your way up.